2011 – The Year That Almost Ruined Me.
I don’t talk about the following story very often. However, recently I realized how big a part of my success journey this critical pivot point really was, so today I’ve decided to share it.
If you’re at a crossroads in your life and career, this one’s for you.
In 2011, I foreclosed on a house.
Technically, my ex and I both did, but trying to spread the shame around evenly when it came to this didn’t do anything to make me feel any better. Today, I simply own it as my failure. In 2011, the 9-year relationship with my ex was coming to an end, and as it did, we foreclosed on a home.
The end of any relationship is painful, but the pain of feeling like the most irresponsible person in the world for losing a home was crushing. I felt like the biggest failure ever to fail. I thought the pain and shame would kill me. But of course, they didn’t. I pushed through, I did the work, and I survived. I learned a lot about myself during this time, including something that changed my life. I realized the one HUGE mistake I’d been making.
Over the years, I had grown used to accepting low standards for myself and those around me. I was letting “good enough” be good enough in almost every part of my life. I had established myself as an expert in my field and one to go after the next great job, but in every other aspect – relationships, social life, mental health, even satisfaction in those jobs once I got them – I let myself feel “meh”. It took literally losing the roof over my head for my mistake to become obvious. Now, it had to change.
Here’s what I did:
I got over my BS and started putting myself out there.
I got over my fears of failure, change, the unknown. I let the past be the past. I got over the need for what I thought was comfort, but was really just familiarity. I started listening to the thing I now call the “fire in my belly” – that intense longing to do something, make a change, live differently, live more intently. I moved to a different city, started a new job, nurtured new relationships, and made lasting, meaningful changes in how I showed up in my life.
It has been almost 11 years. I’m living a life that is richer and more full of love and success than I ever could have dreamed of back then. Looking back now, I see that my life completely shifted at that time. My life changed when I chose to use a terrible experience as a catalyst for positive change. Through the tears and fear and deep, deep shame, I managed to raise the expectations I had for myself. It was possible for me, and it’s possible for you. Your life can and will change – on whatever level you need – if you choose to make it change.
If you’re ready to make that change, I can help. Let’s get started on rewriting your own success story.